A Silenced Voice…

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I dreamed to be a better person,

I dreamed of living in a spick and span area,

I wanted to roam in the city all night without meeting the hungry gaze of men,

Who were all ready to entrap woman like me,

I dreamed to wear clothes in which I am comfortable with regardless of the fact whether they are too short or covered,

I dreamed to be an artist without anybody enquiring me about which degree I possess or what my qualification is,

I dreamed to inhale pure, fresh air which is not full of pollution for once,

I dream to see poverty free India where not at every turn there was someone standing in the scorching heat of sun begging for few rupees,

I wanted to get educated not because it was my need but to match the inane standards of this cruel society,

I wanted to speak English regardless of this fact whether it is my native language or not,

So that nobody can point a finger at me saying I don’t belong here,

But there is a thin line between what I wanted and what I dreamed for,

As living in a brothel is not something which is appreciated and it is not easy to live a life in this hell hole,

For every need and dream here you have to pay a price which now I am not willing to give,

All these men out there don’t see me as a women who has feelings and soul,

But they see me as a women who has vagina and bosom,

They know how to use my body for their own privilege and to quench their own thirst,

But they don’t know how to worship, cherish or respect me.

I dreamed of living in a place where people are not as narrow-minded as they are,

A place where every person respected a job of prostitute,

I dreamed of getting the kind of respect a normal being has,

I dreamed of getting support from my family for what I do,

I dreamed of being a mother, bestowing all the love I have on my child,

But thinking about all this makes me even more numb to every emotion,

Knowing how the mentality of this society is and how this society functions,

Knowing they will not be able to digest a prostitute upbringing a child,

As I am anything but a human being, like I am shallow from inside,

I don’t have a character as I use my body to make my ends meet which according to them is a draconian act,

Living a life as a prostitute is a shame and brings disgrace to this society,

But before ending this right here,

I want to ask questions whose answers I am not cognizant of and for my survival I need to know them,

Why women have to endure every pain?

Why women have to be perfect and expected to be like Sita?

Why women can’t be as ferocious as a lion is?

Why raping a women does not bring disgrace for a man?

Why he is not ashamed of his own actions?

Why he gets away with every crime which is done against women?

Why???

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Dear Zindagi (Chapter 2)

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” When I look at people now a days, I see only one thing in their eyes, lust for  more power. Now feelings don’t matter at all, every emotion is weighed, now people believe in materialistic things rather than the feelings.” Ciara said sadly when she reached her favorite spot, i.e in the back of her house is a beach which is not only beautiful but provide her serenity too.

“I know, but this is how life works. You cannot change these things, the only thing you can do is accept it as soon as it is possible for you ” said the voice which she has been craving for, her conscience.

“Is there any way I can escape all this? Like outer world I do understand but it hurts when people around me who are related to me behave like money is everything. I mean I know money is something with which you can buy everything” Ciara said keeping a hand under her chin, her brows furrowed. She looked deeply disturbed.

” You cannot buy everything, you can buy all the materialistic things but you can never buy love. Just accept this we all are selfish, and we do judge people with what they say. It is totally normal, we live in kalyug(age of downfall) don’t expect people to be selfless.” said her inner voice after weighing every word.

“I hate it when every time you turn out to be right!” She said with a smile which looked ostensible. Now that her inner voice has heard her worries she seemed to be calm.

“You know I am always right” said her conscience proudly which made her smile.

“Yeah Yeah” she said and walked towards her home with one hope that in the coming years maybe in her world she will make a difference.

She will not let people weigh her emotions, She will create her own world where only those people will be there who are with her because they want to be not because of any other selfish reason…

 

To Be Continued